If Your Husband Has Lost Interest In You, Codependence May Be an Issue

Codependency: The Game (Photo credit: jasonEscapist)

“Don’t assume you must struggle alone, there is a lot of grace and comfort in asking for help”. Tory Johnson, CEO, Women FH

If your husband seems to have lost interest in you may have lost touch with yourself.  A codependent person is often one who tries to please others at the expense of her sense of self.  Does that sound like you?

It is important to understand that you may be communicating to your husband a lack of a sense of self.

There are steps you can take to get back in touch with yourself and your assets.

For example, codependents lack the skills needed to communicate in a relationship… assertiveness is not one of the codependent person’s strong points.

Also, you have lost yourself in the daily routine of your life, and are not taking care of yourself. You may have gone overboard with your people pleasing characteristics and fallen into the trap of becoming less interesting and positive about your own life experiences.

I suggest you ask yourself the following questions:

Am I afraid to be fully myself? If so, why?

Have I lost some of my sense of self because I am too busy with work and other responsibilities?

Am I taking care of myself?

You may want to try writing in a journal and exploring your answers to these questions. Writing about our feelings in a journal is priceless because we can measure where we are in a situation, how we feel about it and what we may want to do about it. Then we can always go back and reflect on what we have written.

Journal writing will help you if you are having trouble making decisions that will benefit the relationship, which is a basic characteristic of codependence. This may be interfering in your relationship with your husband. Learn to recognize your own positive attributes and to work on them. Make a list of your assets. Read the list often and take steps to regain lost ground. Practice implementing your skills.

Remember that you are a capable person, and you can in fact improve your relationships. Start with appreciating yourself and build on that. You can do what is necessary to work on yourself and your relationship.

Ask yourself: Does your husband or lover seem distant?  Does it seem like the romance is gone from the relationship?  Would you like him to change?  Does he seem to be insensitive, out of reach, removed, cold, detached, indifferent,  or unloving?

Don’t ignore those red flags!

FIND YOUR OWN VOICE!

Don’t let codependence be the reason your marriage or relationship falls apart.

Click this link for the answer to your problem: http://tinyurl.com/out-love

Or perhaps you just want to improve your relationship and move in for the kill so that your man loves you and adores you even more than he does now, if so:

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Communication Skills May Save Your Marriage!

Detail (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

“There is no end to a woman’s growth.  Make personal time each day for self-reflection and personal enhancement.” Cat Cora, First and only Female Iron Chef

“Communication“. The mere word sends chills down my spine because I know that so many women are having serious problems in a relationship with their significant other, and those problems can easily escalate into arguments about who said what to whom and where without end. Still, there are things you can do to improve the quality of your relationship. Here are a few pointers from someone who has been there and “done that” in terms of arguments and unintended misunderstandings:

1. Give him the benefit of the doubt and he may do the same for you.
If you tend to interpret things he says in a negative manner, he will become defensive and the conversation may spiral out of control. Try to interpret whatever he says in the best possible light, and if in doubt, ask him what he means by his statement.

2. Realize that he may not be listening as you would want him to listen to you because he is more interested in solving the problem. Men like to help, they were taught to do so by everyone in their life and helping makes them feel useful. Appreciate the fact that he is trying to come up with a solution, even though what you really want is for him to listen to you.

3. Listen to what he has to say and ask questions.
Sometimes men can be very short and to the point. Again, ask questions and keep the conversation going until you are satisfied that you are in fact communicating.

4. Try to communicate the positives.
Instead of focusing on the point of disagreement, focus on what you do agree about.

5. Remember there are no mind readers.
We are all guilty of expecting others to interpret and understand where we are coming from, after all, they know us so well. But this approach is dangerous and ineffective. You may be left feeling that your needs are not being met, and the conversation will spin down into in argument.

6. At the risk of sounding obvious, be clear.
The fact is that In actual conversation, it is possible that we are not finishing our sentences, defining our terms and actually saying what we want to say. Don’t tell him something hinting at what you really want him to do and then expect him to understand what it is that you actually mean or want. Assertiveness is always appropriate and it is necessary in order to make a point.

7. Practice.
Put these helpful hints into practice. Developing new skills comes through practice and patience.

Ask yourself: Does your husband or lover seem distant?  Does it seem like the romance is gone from the relationship?  Would you like him to change?  Does he seem to be insensitive, out of reach, removed, cold, detached, indifferent,  or unloving?

Wouldn’t it be wonderful to have him be crazy about you? Have him be enchanted with you… to have him cherish you, think the world of you,  be close to you, always attentive, considerate, loving you, treasuring you?  IT CAN HAPPEN!  Take action and see for yourself!  How?

CLICK here for the answer that has been awaiting you: http://tinyurl.com/loving-him

Or perhaps you just want to improve your relationship and move in for the kill so that your man loves you and adores you even more than he does now, if so:

Click here to find out WHAT MEN SECRETLY WANT: http://tinyurl.com/yourmansecret

Click here if you WANT TO BE ADORED by him: http://tinyurl.com/adoredbyhim