“There is no end to a woman’s growth. Make personal time each day for self-reflection and personal enhancement.” Cat Cora, First and only Female Iron Chef
“Communication“. The mere word sends chills down my spine because I know that so many women are having serious problems in a relationship with their significant other, and those problems can easily escalate into arguments about who said what to whom and where without end. Still, there are things you can do to improve the quality of your relationship. Here are a few pointers from someone who has been there and “done that” in terms of arguments and unintended misunderstandings:
1. Give him the benefit of the doubt and he may do the same for you.
If you tend to interpret things he says in a negative manner, he will become defensive and the conversation may spiral out of control. Try to interpret whatever he says in the best possible light, and if in doubt, ask him what he means by his statement.
2. Realize that he may not be listening as you would want him to listen to you because he is more interested in solving the problem. Men like to help, they were taught to do so by everyone in their life and helping makes them feel useful. Appreciate the fact that he is trying to come up with a solution, even though what you really want is for him to listen to you.
3. Listen to what he has to say and ask questions.
Sometimes men can be very short and to the point. Again, ask questions and keep the conversation going until you are satisfied that you are in fact communicating.
4. Try to communicate the positives.
Instead of focusing on the point of disagreement, focus on what you do agree about.
5. Remember there are no mind readers.
We are all guilty of expecting others to interpret and understand where we are coming from, after all, they know us so well. But this approach is dangerous and ineffective. You may be left feeling that your needs are not being met, and the conversation will spin down into in argument.
6. At the risk of sounding obvious, be clear.
The fact is that In actual conversation, it is possible that we are not finishing our sentences, defining our terms and actually saying what we want to say. Don’t tell him something hinting at what you really want him to do and then expect him to understand what it is that you actually mean or want. Assertiveness is always appropriate and it is necessary in order to make a point.
Put these helpful hints into practice. Developing new skills comes through practice and patience.
Ask yourself: Does your husband or lover seem distant? Does it seem like the romance is gone from the relationship? Would you like him to change? Does he seem to be insensitive, out of reach, removed, cold, detached, indifferent, or unloving?
Wouldn’t it be wonderful to have him be crazy about you? Have him be enchanted with you… to have him cherish you, think the world of you, be close to you, always attentive, considerate, loving you, treasuring you? IT CAN HAPPEN! Take action and see for yourself! How?
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Or perhaps you just want to improve your relationship and move in for the kill so that your man loves you and adores you even more than he does now, if so:
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