“Don’t assume you must struggle alone, there is a lot of grace and comfort in asking for help”. Tory Johnson, CEO, Women FH
If your husband seems to have lost interest in you may have lost touch with yourself. A codependent person is often one who tries to please others at the expense of her sense of self. Does that sound like you?
It is important to understand that you may be communicating to your husband a lack of a sense of self.
There are steps you can take to get back in touch with yourself and your assets.
For example, codependents lack the skills needed to communicate in a relationship… assertiveness is not one of the codependent person’s strong points.
Also, you have lost yourself in the daily routine of your life, and are not taking care of yourself. You may have gone overboard with your people pleasing characteristics and fallen into the trap of becoming less interesting and positive about your own life experiences.
I suggest you ask yourself the following questions:
Am I afraid to be fully myself? If so, why?
Have I lost some of my sense of self because I am too busy with work and other responsibilities?
Am I taking care of myself?
You may want to try writing in a journal and exploring your answers to these questions. Writing about our feelings in a journal is priceless because we can measure where we are in a situation, how we feel about it and what we may want to do about it. Then we can always go back and reflect on what we have written.
Journal writing will help you if you are having trouble making decisions that will benefit the relationship, which is a basic characteristic of codependence. This may be interfering in your relationship with your husband. Learn to recognize your own positive attributes and to work on them. Make a list of your assets. Read the list often and take steps to regain lost ground. Practice implementing your skills.
Remember that you are a capable person, and you can in fact improve your relationships. Start with appreciating yourself and build on that. You can do what is necessary to work on yourself and your relationship.
Ask yourself: Does your husband or lover seem distant? Does it seem like the romance is gone from the relationship? Would you like him to change? Does he seem to be insensitive, out of reach, removed, cold, detached, indifferent, or unloving?
Don’t ignore those red flags!
FIND YOUR OWN VOICE!
Don’t let codependence be the reason your marriage or relationship falls apart.
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